My Last Nerve

Have you ever just needed to vent? That is me today. Perhaps it's because today that dang pesty Aunt Flow came to visit, and she generally puts me in a foul mood.

But let me just say this, my voice is getting hoarse. My kids are wild lately. I am not sure if it's the weather, their ages or what. I can only tell you that my very little control of their behaviour is completely gone. It exsists no longer. I really don't know what to do. I am at my wits end. I should not need my husband to constantly come and rescue me in order to have them behave or listen.

Samantha is arguementative. Everything I ask her or tell her is a fight. The problem is that she does not sound like you typical almost 5 year old. She is like a bloody teenager. I never in my wildest dreams thought my children would behave like this.

Nicholas, he is just bad news lately. If you see him coming you can exspect destruction. He is into anything he can get his hands onto and will not share, wants every toy Sam grabs and will fight to the death to get it, or scream bloody murder if he is told no.

Let me give you a breif run down of the destruction so far this morning.

A bag of bottles and can all over the kitchen floor, blankets, sheets and pillows all over the living room floor, cherrio's all over the kitchen table and floor surrounding the table, Clothes thrown every where, Soda from the empty cans onto the floor where the cans got spilt, rubber gloves on the floor in grandma's room, their bowls from their cereal (which is on the table) in the trash, toilet paper in the hallway.

And it's only 12:30 in the afternoon? WHAT THE FUCK! I am ready for a complete meltdown. If there is ANYONE out there reading this.. IS THIS NORMAL ? To me this seems very extreme.

I just don't know. I want to go lay down, eat lunch and veg. But no... I sent Sammie in with Daddy to take a nap and put nick in his room. Nick has since came here in the living room and is laying on the floor talking to himself. And this would be good behaviour if it weren't nap time and mommy didn't want a BREAK! I have nothing left in me to correct him. Nothing. I am just ignoring him. Aweful. I have no idea where I have gone wrong with me children. I LOVE them to death and try to give them the world.. and I get this?

I have no time to do fun things with them, because I am constantly correcting, yelling (which I know isn't good for them), picking up after etc. I am spent people. They stood on my last nerve this morning and smashed it into oblivion. This is not good.

I had a nice day yesterday, what I could enjoy when the kids weren't interupting me from my company. I might write about it tonight when I am more calm and mellow because they are finally asleep.

Sleeping, I don't even get that lately. I sleep on the couch because I snore too loudly for my husband to sleep. I don't mind it. But, lately our kids wake up 10 times a night. And everytime they wake up they come out into the living room and crawl onto the couch with me. I can't sleep well because I have a 5 YO on my feet and a 3 YO trying to sleep on top, in the middle or where ever he can on the couch with me. *sigh* Alright, time to go try and get nick to go back in his room and get some veggin' time in before I freak completely. More later.

Like you want to hear this bitchfest LMAO