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About a dear friend
Monday, Aug. 02, 2004 @ 12:55 a.m.
Have you ever wondered if a choice you made greatly affected someone else's life?
I have this friend. She was my best friend in the world at one point. She dated my hubbie's best friend. We had great times together. Me and this friend even worked together towards the end of our friendship.
She decided to make this aweful decision. I could understand her wanting to leave her boyfried (my hubbies friend) if she was truely unhappy with him. At least that is what she told me. Turns out she wanted to be with another guy. Not completly unheard of. She was young. We were both still young. I was pregnant with Samantha and things in my life were starting to change.
I liked the guy she wanted to be with good enough. He was always fun to be around, a nice enough guy. Even though he was also friends with her boyfriend and this was just a horrible turn of events for the unexspecting boyfriend. But anyhow. As nice as the guy was, he was also very premiscouious. He had had sex with alot of women and was not afraid to say it. It was also no secret or suprise that he had had some STD's.
It was at this point, my husband deemed that the girl, my friend, was losing her mind to be with this guy (who coincidentaly had once stole a sum of money from her and her then boyfriend) and all contact should be shut off with her. He did not want to see me involved with someone making such poor life choices, as inadvertantly it could fall into my lap as well. We had a baby on the way and the time for childish foolishness was over. I really took that decision hard. I knew that in a way he was right, but in the same respect I felt I was being a really shitty friend.
5 years have passed now. She had child with this man. Actually with the same birthday as Nicholas. Oddly enough we ended up in the same room at the hospital that day. (Weird huh?) Anyhow, she spiraled downhill. She lost a good job, she had her child taken away from her, hooked on drugs and pills, spent time in jail, overall appearance is not what it used to be, moved away and now has moved back.
I don't talk to her anymore. I haven't talked to her since shortly after Nick was born. 3 years. I guess now she is living (or I should say possibly living) nearby in a place that is sort of a transitional type houseing for people who are trying to get their life back on track. That is good. I guess there is a possibility that the new boyfriend is not with her anymore. That is good. You know I wonder though. If I had made the decision to stay in her life, could my voice and reasoning have saved her from the spiral downwards in her life? Could I have helped her in anyway? I wonder this from time to time when I think about her. It breaks my heart. She was such a good person. I probably wouldn't know what to say if I ran into her. Some part of me is glad that I wasn't around her.. for my childrens sake. But.. my children would also have loved Auntie Carla. I just know it. That is just the kind of person she was. Perhaps one day I will run into her, and maybe we will have a conversation, I will show her a picture of my kids and maybe she will think back on the times we spent together as friends, and that if only I had stayed her friend that she might have made different choices in her life. That would be nice. Perhaps someday when her life is back on track we will be able to be friends again. I don't know. I just always wonder if my decision affected her life.
About a dear friend - Monday, Aug. 02, 2004
My Last Nerve - Monday, Jul. 19, 2004
I am Back - Monday, May. 17, 2004
What the hell was I thinking?!?!?! - Friday, Apr. 02, 2004
Where Were You When - Tuesday, Mar. 30, 2004